That's intense
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
