went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
