he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
