Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
