he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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