Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
