Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
