dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
