Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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