You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
