I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
