Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You need Xanax blowdarts
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
