there's paper in my vomit.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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