so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
