By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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