If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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