So drunk its hurt
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
