you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Someone came in the potted fern
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
