You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
