Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
