:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
