I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
