woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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