How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
