it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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