we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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