break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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