you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
