I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Randomize