Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
