He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
