none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
