About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have feelings that need drinking.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
