Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I am naked and annoyed.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
