3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
