peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
