It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
