oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
