I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The uberlube is also flammable
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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