i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
