I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
