Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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