I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
