im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
