This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
