Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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