I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
