is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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