My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
