So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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