just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Don't EVER smell your tampon
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
