After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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