You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
