You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
